The Secret Language of Women

Keywords and Their Meaning

Fine
This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument in which she
feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. Never use "fine" to
describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those
arguments.

Five Minutes
This is really half an hour. It is equivalent to the same "five minutes"
that a football game is going to last before you take out the garbage.

Nothing
This really means, "You'd never understand." "Nothing" is usually
accompanied by a woman's desire to turn you inside out, upside-down, and
backwards. "Nothing" is often said prior to an argument that will last
"Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine."

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows)
This is not permission. This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine.

Go Ahead (with normal eyebrows)
This means, "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You
will get the "Go Ahead" with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but is still a verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and is wondering why she is wasting her time arguing over "Nothing."

Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few
things that some men actually understand. This means a woman is content
and your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man.
"That's Okay,” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying
you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is
often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with the raised
Eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted
and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to
come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is
that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

Thanks
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; simply say, "You're welcome."

Thanks a lot
This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks a lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not
to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing."